Northern Ireland is a place where people know that peace is not just political – it is relational. Two women who understood this deeply were Cynthia Cockburn, the feminist peace researcher, and Monica McWilliams, co‑founder of the Northern Ireland Women’s Coalition. Their work shows that dialogue – honest, risky, human dialogue – is not a soft option but one of the most powerful tools for healing fractured communities.
Remarkably, their insights echo something woven through the Gospels: Jesus listened to women, often across boundaries of culture, class, and conflict. His example offers a spiritual foundation for the women‑centred, inclusive peacebuilding Cockburn and McWilliams championed.
The Gospels show Jesus repeatedly engaging in meaningful dialogue with women – something unusual, even controversial, in his cultural context. These encounters reveal a pattern: Jesus listens, honours, and responds with dignity.
The Samaritan Woman – John 4:4–26
Jesus asks for a drink at the well and enters into conversation with a woman from a community despised by his own. He listens to her questions and treats her as a genuine conversation partner. When she says that the Messiah will explain everything when he comes, Jesus replies, “I, the one speaking to you – I am he.”(v.26)
This is dialogue across a deep divide – religious, ethnic, and gendered. It mirrors the kind of boundary‑crossing conversations Cockburn documented in Northern Ireland, Bosnia, Cyprus, and Israel/Palestine.[1]
The Woman with the Issue of Blood – Mark 5:25–34
When a woman who has been bleeding for twelve years touches Jesus’ cloak and is healed, he waits and listens as she tells “the whole truth” (v.33). He restores her dignity by giving her space to speak – a reminder that healing often begins with being heard. Then he reassures her: “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” (v.34)
Mary of Bethany – Luke 10:38–42
Mary sits at Jesus’ feet in the posture of a disciple. When Martha demands, “Tell her to help me!” (v.40), Jesus affirms Mary’s right to learn and be heard: “Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (v.42) Jesus validates a woman’s voice in a world that often excluded her – a theme central to McWilliams’ work on women’s inclusion in peace negotiations.
The Syrophoenician Woman – Mark 7:24–30
When Jesus appears reluctant to heal the daughter of a foreign woman, she challenges him. He listens, takes her seriously, and is persuaded to change his mind: “For such a reply, you may go; the demon has left your daughter.” (v.29) This is one of Scripture’s most striking examples of transformative dialogue – a marginalised woman speaks boldly, and Jesus honours her voice.
Mary Magdalene – John 20:11–18
Jesus listens to Mary’s grief at the tomb, speaks her name, and entrusts her with the first resurrection message: “Go… to my brothers and tell them I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.” (v.17) He chooses a woman as the first witness of the Gospel – a profound affirmation of women’s leadership.
These Gospel stories show Jesus doing exactly what peacebuilders do: listening across boundaries, honouring the marginalised, and creating space for truth‑telling.
Cynthia Cockburn spent years studying women’s dialogue groups in Northern Ireland, Bosnia, Cyprus, and Israel/Palestine. She found that women often stepped into what she called “the dangerous space between us” – the emotional and political gap created by conflict – and filled it with conversation instead of fear. Her research showed that dialogue is courageous and listening is transformative. Peacebuilding is rooted in relationship‑building, and this is an area where women often lead the way.
As an activist and politician, Monica McWilliams brought the insights gained from years of grassroots cross‑community dialogue into the Belfast/Good Friday Agreement negotiations. The Northern Ireland Women’s Coalition insisted that peace must take account of victims’ rights, social justice, reconciliation, and the voices of those most affected by violence. McWilliams’ work reflects the same truth seen in the Gospels: when women speak out and act – sometimes defying the status quo – things can change. Yet some of the Agreement’s key provisions, such as integrated education, a Civic Forum, and real reconciliation, remain outstanding. The work goes on.
In my recent dialogue work in Kosovo, I was asked how I had “mainstreamed a gender perspective.” The question lingered with me. It made me realise how little I have had to struggle to have my voice heard or my dignity recognised. That kind of ease is a privilege – one that not every woman shares. When I design training or shape a dialogue process, I need to pause and ask whose experiences might be missing, whose stories are harder to hear, and whose perspectives are too often overlooked.
Peace is not only negotiated in formal spaces but nurtured in relationships, in listening, and in the quiet work of creating room for others to speak. Jesus shows us that crossing boundaries is holy work. My desire to be a peacebuilder grows out of that conviction. Perhaps that is the invitation for us today: to step into the spaces between us, to speak honestly, to listen deeply, and to believe that dialogue can still transform our communities.
References
[1] The Space Between Us: Negotiating Gender and National Identities in Conflict, Zed Books, 1998.
Sharon Crooks lives in London and works as a mediator, conflict coach, and trainer. She is a trustee of WMS, a community mediation service, and is passionate about helping people to communicate better to create peace in all its fullness.
Please note that the statements and views expressed in this article of those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Contemporary Christianity.
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